Getting to a “Yes” Requires Recognition of a “No”

by Jonathan A. Handler, MD, FACEP, FAMIA

Imagine you have an innovative idea, and you propose it to your boss. You think the boss said “yes” or “maybe,” but the response actually meant “no.” You might continue on your current path without realizing it has no chance of success. Recognizing “no” immediately can help you choose a better path, such as abandoning your idea, modifying your idea, taking a different approach to “selling” your idea, or something else. Getting to a “yes” often first requires recognizing a “no.”

To avoid hurt feelings, to avoid arguments, and for other reasons, decision-makers sometimes offer responses that sound promising yet really mean “no” (or at best remain non-committal). Despite the positive intent behind them, such responses may prove detrimental rather than neutral or helpful.

Over the years, I’ve heard many responses that sounded like a “yes” to me yet ended up as a “no.” To help others recognize “no”, I offer a list of examples after this paragraph. Although they do not always mean “no”, in my experience, they have often seemed to indicate that the other party does not favor the idea. I don’t intend for this list to be used to help intentionally obfuscate a “no” response. Rather, my hope is that innovators will use it to better recognize one. Bottom line: if you hear one of these, don’t just assume the answer is no, but consider that it might be.

1. Deny the Data
   • “I don’t believe that study.”
   • “The methodology must be flawed.”
   • “Who performed that study?” (implying the authors are incapable, biased, etc.)
   • “I need to read that study” (often another form of “I don’t believe that study”, and often the study is never read)
2. Show High Interest Then Stall (I’m too modest to note the acronym this forms)
   • “We will do your big idea after we get the basics done.”
   • “Let’s put that in the parking lot, I promise we will come back to it.” (I can’t remember ever seeing that happen).
   • Nod your head yes, but don’t write it down on the whiteboard.
   • Write the idea down on the whiteboard, but don’t put it in the follow-up summary of the meeting.
   • “We don’t have the budget for it now, let’s look at it in the next fiscal year.”
   • “Maybe, let me think about it.”
3. Say Something Nice While Implying It’s Unrealistic
   • “That’s a great vision of the future!”
   • “I agree with your assessment that this will happen, but the question is when.”
   • “That’s a huge project!”
   • “What a big and ambitious goal!”
4. Imply It Has Low Value
   • “Is this the most important thing we could be doing right now?”
   • “Will people really pay for this?”
   • “If this is really a great idea, then why hasn’t anyone else done it?”
   • “Other people are already doing this, so it’s not unique.”
5. Play Devil’s Advocate
   • “What about [problem or concern]?”
   • “How are we going to compete against [big company]?”
6. Avoid Ownership
   • Label the project with the innovator’s name, rather than referring to it as “our” project.
7. Hide the Idea Inside Another One That You Like
   • Declare that the idea is really part of another, different idea (therefore implying that nothing more needs to be done with the idea).

Often, approaches to “no” are combined. For example, “How are you going to make it cheap enough”? This takes a devil’s advocate position, and, by saying “how are you going to make it cheap enough,” the person has not taken ownership, leaving the problem entirely in your court to solve. When someone has truly aligned with your idea, they commonly try to both identify and solve issues.

On the other hand, the opposite of the list above may imply (though not always) that you are closer to a true “Yes”:

• Demonstrate Having Learned from the Data: e.g., “This study provides important, objective data regarding our older product, showing that people think it’s too expensive and want an alternative!”
• Say Some Practical Next Steps: e.g., “By next week, please send me your plan to get this done, with key deliverables and milestones for each phase, along with the required budget, people, and resources clearly laid out. And please don’t underestimate — I don’t want to be penny-wise and pound-foolish.”
• Show High Interest and Execute: e.g., “We need to jump on this big idea now and get started right away. Tell the team to drop everything and get started.”
• Recognize the Value: e.g., “This would really improve our profit margins.”
• Play Solution Finder: e.g., “This technology could have slow response times, but I read about an algorithm we could use that would solve that problem.”
• Take Ownership: e.g., “This is our team’s new top priority project!”
• Sunshine What Differentiates the Innovation from Other Ideas: e.g., “This is totally different than seemingly similar projects because this one doesn’t depend on external suppliers.”

Successful innovation often requires others to say, “yes.” The first step in achieving that “yes” requires recognizing when the answer means (or may mean) “no” (or “yes”). If you’ve gotten a “no” and you recognize it, then you may be able to take a different approach to get to success. At the same time, if a single “no” has the potential to kill your innovation, you may be in the wrong environment for your innovation in the first place. Naturally, there’s a blog post about that! 🙂

All opinions expressed here are entirely those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the opinions or positions of their employers (if any), affiliates (if any), or anyone else. The author(s) reserve the right to change his/her/their minds at any time.